Official – Ghana’s mental health professionals are insane! via @grahamk5

Sourced from here

Ghana’s chief psychiatrist, Dr Akwesi Osei, has made the startling announcement that his own psychiatric doctors, responsible for the mental health of the nation, are themselves suffering from mental disorders! He has not stated whether he has included himself in this diagnosis.

Did he know these doctors were mad when they were employed, or have they become disordered under his administration? It is certainly a serious state of affairs especially for those who need treatment!

For those that may not know the background, there is currently civil unrest amongst many workers in Ghana over issues with salaries. Doctors are striking because of longstanding, unresolved pay disputes with the government.

Doctors additional allowances for all their extra hours were merged with their salaries onto a single spine salary structure (ssss) – the 3^rd salary structure doctors have been moved onto. The merging of salaries with allowances has resulted in less pay which has in turn affected pensions. Despite what the government promised, they unilaterally changed the deal in contravention of the Labour Act 2003. Let’s not forget government ministers have increased their own salaries and receive endless allowances!

Teachers have also been battling with salary discrepancies since 2010!

It spite of these clear injustices, Dr Osei has stated to the media that all labour disturbances are a sign of mental disorder, which includes his own striking doctors!

It was not so long ago that women were categorised as suffering from hysteria if they showed resistance to patriarchy.

“Doctors had observed that hysterical women were resistant to or critical of marriage, and were believed to be strangely independent and assertive. While hysterical girls were viewed as closet feminists and rejecting traditional roles, likewise feminist activists were denigrated as hysterics, sick and abnormal women who did not represent their sex. By the 1880s, it had become common in England for the term ‘hysterical’ to be linked to feminist protests in newspapers and in the rhetoric of anti-suffragists.” – Paul Turnball

Does being healthy mean ‘shut up and put up’ and accept the status quo? Are workers supposed to accept the injustices of capitalism and to be labelled mentally disordered if they show resistance? Rather I would suggest it is a sign of a healthy person to resist injustice.

Dr Osei has also claimed that LGBT people suffer from mental disorders and therefore

Frank Ocean

should not qualify for human rights.

Even if we wish to accept his lone voice (standing in contradiction to international medical opinion) that LGBT people suffer from a mental disorder, is he now suggesting that all people with mental disorders should be denied human rights? Perhaps this attitude may account for the appalling treatment of many mentally ill people in Ghana as shown in Africa Review and the photoblog of  Nyani Quarmyne.

Human Rights Watch has described the situation in Ghana as “appalling” and that:

“In psychiatric hospitals, people with mental disabilities face overcrowding and unsanitary conditions.”

When people make personal assertions, especially those which contradict scientific and medical research, we should demand evidence. Like all scientific research it should be peer reviewed and assessed. Personal opinions, particularly from those in positions of power, should remain personal or stated as such. When personal opinions appear to support elite interests, the position of neutrality we expect from doctors can appear compromised.

Ghana’s health professionals are doing a great job in caring for people. Mental health is still facing stigmatisation and cultural and religious misunderstandings. Our doctors need support from the state not penalisation and name calling. There is much education and work to be done.

By Graham Knight

Corruption

there’s always a back door!!!

The Notion of Virginity

Via Source-Redd Katt

Why all this bitterness and rants over rLG and the Chris Brown concert? by KEMIST

Source: GhanaMusic.com http://tinyurl.com/b474m6h

CHRIS BROWN. PHOTO: GHANA MUSIC.COM

Chris brown was in Ghana on the 5th of March 2013 as the headline act for the rlg hope city concert. In my honest opinion, the concert was a very good one.

Now the concert is over and still some Ghanaians seem bitter over certain issues that I personally think is not pertinent enough.

Even before the arrival of the international Grammy winner Chris brown, it was alleged that he was being paid a million dollars to perform at the concert.

I say “alleged” because; I haven’t seen any paperwork or evidence stating the said amount of money that was paid to the Mr. Brown. This alleged price tag seems to have infuriated a lot of people, which I personally did not see why. Everybody knows Ghanaians are sentimental and all but the rate at which people are complaining and nagging/ranting about this issue to me is an insult to anybody associated to the organization of this program or event.

$1 MILLION DOLLAR PAYCHECK

First of all, Chris brown being paid $1million was not a donation made by rlg and the performance he gave was not done in appreciation of the amount of money rlg decided to hand him. Chris brown is an artist signed by SONY RCA record label and as such how much he charges for a concert is determined by these people.

He is a businessman who renders a service. About a month or two, Chris performed in Nigeria and ivory coast, did any of these supposed premier journalist who are having a field day with this issue bother to investigate how much he was paid by our neighbors?

Even if he asked for a million, the team he came down with (technical, talents and managerial) all had to be paid and if you are used to they way Americans do things, I’m sure they were paid by the clock (hourly).

Have the people complaining about the his paycheck considered all the monies he has invested in studio time, rehearsal space and time, choreographers, dancers, producers and songwriters etc. who have help him churn out all his number ones over the years.

Again, have people considered the number of “GHANAIANS” who directly or indirectly were affected by this concert? Event and entertainment companies whose business portfolios are going get a facelift? The number of citizens who were paid on that night because they rendered services, from the printers to the posters/tickets etc. to the ushers, security, national sports council, electricity company of Ghana and the Ghanaian government (taxes) to the little kid selling beverages on the field and in the stands.

LATE ARRIVAL

The press are having a field day with some of them sighting Chris brown’s late arrival into the country. The effect of this was the inability of the organizers to organize a press conference. Personally, I think it was unfortunate but it’s not an issue. Yes there have been other international artists who have visited and were in the country a day or 2 before the day of the show but has anybody considered the artiste schedule.

Any avert Chris brown follower would agree with me on the fact that he is a multi-tasked individual, who runs a record label (CBE), he is a music video director (check him out a http://www.rivetingentertainment.com) and an artist who has to beat deadlines provided by his mother label SONY.

An extra stay in the country, I’m sure was a luxury he couldn’t afford. Its alleged he was paid extra money to stay a day or two in Nigeria by a Nigerian citizen. Besides he was booked for the 5th of march to perform in the country and he did just that. So I seriously don’t see the problem here.

DEMEANOR

It was reported by some online blogs that Chris brown arrived in Ghana with a frown. Some say he was unexcited about the trip to Africa or Ghana because there was no tweet or Vlog or anything about him coming to Ghana. Like seriously? Being in this industry, one or two things I have learnt is that, it’s the job of the promoters to ask or demand for these things. Like in the case of some of the artist, a voice note or visual was made to help promote the event so if Chris didn’t do it I don’t see the big fuss here.

Chris himself sent a tweet that he is going off all social media application for a while because of how the media keep twisting is tweets and post.

The last time he posted a tweet was a promo tweet for his artist Sevyn’s new music video. Rick Ross was in Ghana and didn’t tweet a word or instagram nothing but I guess no one bothered.

SMOKING WEED ON STAGE

First and foremost, Chris brown is an excellent showman. He put on one of the best shows I have ever witnessed in this my short life. I guess a lot of people didn’t care about that, except the supposed smoking of weed on stage. People have really made a big issue about this and I don’t blame them for it.

I say supposed because of a lot of reasons, one being: Did anybody see with their own eyes the content of what he was smoking? I guess not. People; please let’s not defame anybody in an attempt to ruin his career because of our individual sentiments. I was at the concert and I remember him saying “let me light up this joint”. Lets try and look at this from an entertainer’s point of view. Chris was here to put on a show or an act.

The sequencing and choreography was on the day was made it evident its something they have rehearsed. He and his Dj even play some Ghanaian tunes, which to me was very nice and this help get the crowd hyped up.

Chris smoking weed on stage could have been an act, to keep the hype going. Whiles he was smoking, there was a mix of songs playing in the background, and this main reason why, his smoking antics could have been an act to make the show an exceptional one.

Micheal Jackson used wires to create an illusion that he could fly, some artist even light themselves on fire on stage and they are not being charged with suicide because its all a show. People are asking and insulting the police for allowing Chris to go scot-free after he announced he was smoking weed.

I applaud the police for keeping calm and not acting on their moral grounds but professionally. According to the criminal liable laws of the country, there is no mention of the word “weed” in there. Secondly, the weed is defined in the dictionaries as “A wild plant growing where it is not wanted and in competition with cultivated plants”. Thirdly, I don’t recall Chris announcing he was smoking weed, he asked how many people smoke weed and he used the word “joint” to describe what he was smoking. There are a lot of legalities here and I the police not reacting was a good decision else I’m sure the state would have been in a lot of trouble and I’m sure the story would have been different with Ghanaians.

Its very depressing when law makers come out to make condemning statements whilst they should be educating the legalities of the issue and encouraging the youth to stay away from narcotics.

WIZKID

So Chris brown repeated what he did in Nigeria, here in Ghana by bringing out Wizkid. MATTER!!. Ghanaians are infuriate at the gesture because he calls out a Nigerian and he performs a song titled “AZONTO” which is something that originated from Ghana and why didn’t he perform with a Ghanaian as in the case of Ludacris when he called out sarkodie and performed his how low remix. Well I’m not going to comment plenty about this but give a very simple and logical reason.

Wizkid is signed unto Akon’s Konllive/konvict record label. Chris brown’s manager, who was at the concert is “Bu Thiam” Akon’s little brother, Vp- Def jam recordings and co-CEO of Konvict Muzik.

So they put their artist on stage together because this concert would get international attention (internet/socialmedia) which is a good look for the label and the brand/image of the starboy. Wizkid performed Azonto in Nigeria, when Chris was there and there were no complaints as to why he performed a Ghanaian-produced song (producer-killbeatz) instead of singing one of his numerous Nigerian-themed songs.

They just appreciated the fact that one of their own shared a stage with an international superstar. Moral lesson here should be that Ghanaian artiste should step up their game, plan and work harder.

BIG FUSS?

So the question here is what is the big fuss?. The entertainment industry has been crying and wailing for external investment from corporate ghana into the industry and finally, this happens and look at the backlash rlg is receiving for getting involved with the entertainment industry. Have people considered the implication of all the money spent on the concert. The stage design in my view is the best I have seen ever in Ghanaian entertainment. This was possible because of the availability of funds. This is the same stage setup Musiga is using for their Music week.

My biggest boss STIP of solid multimedia made an observation about all this, he said, “ Now it is evident that, it’s possible for an artist to be paid 1million dollars for a performance so if his daughter tells him she wants to be a musician, he would out rightly encourage”. This is the kind positive mindset Ghanaians should take instead of bashing and scaring away possible investors. The entertainment business and morality is like oil and water, they can never mix. Let us commend rLG, Empire ent and Charterhouse for putting on a good show.

By KEMIST

CHRIS BROWN: WAS IT WORTH A MILLION BUCKS? by Kwame Gyan

Source: http://kwamegyan.wordpress.com/2013/03/06/chris-brown-was-it-worth-a-million-bucks/

Chris Brown’s show was ok. It was not ‘wow’. There has been enough said about why rlg will spend $1M on CB whose popularity and clout has been as mixed and inconsistent as that of his relationship with Rihanna. Again, there have been questions about why a supposedly middle income state on paper but lower income on the ground will dole out a million bucks to a 23 year old who already has too much money for his age. But hey, you and I have no say in what Roland Agambire chooses to use his monies and his connections to do. For example, he has started that ambitious technology village christened Hope City. That is awesome. But apparently, the idea to bring in bad boy Chris Brown may not have been that awesome. The show itself was ok. CB did his thing; the dude is a good dancer and sings well too. I wont say he mimed. He sang along and did acapellas in between. His five dancers were good too. But Chris Brown disrespected the sponsors, the organizers, his fans, the crowd at the stadium and everyone with the remotest link to yesterday’s show.

LATE ARRIVAL

I have always detested foreign acts who arrive in Ghana just hours before their shows. I am told he was actually supposed to have been at the ground breaking ceremony for the Hope City which was done by JM last Monday. Of course he didn’t show although some members of his crew arrived at least three days earlier. Dude came in about 2pm.

TOO UNEXCITED

Before Ludacris came to Ghana he sent tweets about it. He said loads of things about Ghana before and after his show. Bow Wow, yes a little famous these days, also did same. Chris Brown did none of these. Maybe he is taking time off social media but there were tweets from his twitter handle about some other matters. You can say he does not run his pages himself but it is still no excuse. CB didn’t seem to care about his show here.

FOUL LANGUAGE & WEED SMOKING ON STAGE

I have become less insensitive hearing foreign acts using swear words. Too much of it though becomes irritating. We had our fair share of it last night. What on earth though was Chris Brown thinking when he asked the crowd if any smoked weed? When he started, a section of us booed. I began asking myself ‘what on earth is this boy doing’. Then when it seemed it was supposed to be some act, I thought, ‘ok maybe Chris is on some crusade to change attitudes’. I wish. Then he said ‘ if anyone is tripping cos you smoke weed, fuck them’. As if this was not bad enough, he pulls out a joint, lights it, inhales and exhales away. I was shocked to the bone. Where was security? They were there. Police, Military. I even saw a few Military Police. If they protested to anyone at some point then I am yet to find out. I think we need answers from rlg, Charterhouse, Empire. Who gave CB the weed? Did they know he was going to smoke it to a live audience which included loads of people under the age of 18? If he brought it down from the US then there is a bigger question on the status of our airport security. If he did, then perhaps we should start worrying about just how much illicit drugs come and go through Kotoka.

WHY WIZKID?

When Ludacris came to Ghana he attended at least one radio interview with Sarkodie. During the show, it was Ludacris who introduced Sarkodie. And guess what, they did a remix to one of Ludacris’ hots before Sark continued from there. Chris Brown invited Wizkid from Nigeria to dance azonto with him. What kinda insult was that? We own azonto. Our brothers from Nigeria are trying to steal it and we seem not to have a say when this is rubbed in our faces? There was no connection between CB and Ghana. Dude did not even mention the company that signed his million dollar cheque for him, let alone promote the Hope City.

SECURITY

Aside our security people not been able to stop CB from breaking our laws on stage, they seemed not to know how to handle crowds after they have entered the stadium. Thing is, once someone enters through a designated gate, the person is thus entitled to sit at a specific location by virtue of where they entered from. It seemed like the misapplication of common sensej especially when they kept shoving and pushing people as though we were in some jungle.

LOCAL ACTS

I just think our local folks should learn how to finish singing their songs on stage. They start and stop midway when they feel like. We have always complained about the stagecraft of these guys. Aside Samini, VIP and Kwaw Kesse, and to some extent 4×4 and Sarkodie, the rest are really awful. They should respect our audiences and learn how to really entertain. Much as Chris Brown may not have awed me, no one can doubt his performance acumen. Can we say some for our local folks?

SO WAS IT WORTH IT?

Perhaps it was. But not for a million bucks and certainly minus the stupid and criminal antics of smoking weed on stage.

By Kwame Gyan

Silence

FOKN Bois – Jesus Is Coming ft Wusuwaah

http://www.foknbois.bandcamp.com

Intimacies of a Vagina

ericlawpoetry.wordpress.com

Source: http://ericlawpoetry.wordpress.com/2013/02/15/intimacies-of-a-vagina/

Long ago before homosexuals were all in our faces about it;

A time where GAY was a happy word according to the dictionary.

Ok things have changed so let me introduce myself and my stance-
I am the guy who hates gay rights but won’t agree to the killing of another human.
It is quite a condensed issue so I will present this in sub-topics

Sub-topic1: Hookers Are Not Extinct

My stance: I do not support prostitution
Well I think prostitution should have been legalized by now. Why the heck is the government still holding back on that? I was a kid when I had to write an article on the legalization; I am surprised after more than a decade whores cannot really go pro because the government won’t even give it a thought.
Oh, all of a sudden gay persons think they need to protect their rights and worst of all their shit should be legalized. How about the street-corner entrepreneur who works for money? I am for any prostitute in Ghana since they would have be paying taxes if their cause was supported well (but my religion won’t allow me to). Then the CEOs and PIMPs would have been generating cool income for the country to support other dark but rather expensive jobs.
Gay people, please do not make this about you because so many important things are there for the country to fight for and promote. Two adults who want to practice sodomy is ok, if that’s what I am gathering. Oh so now you vampires want to publicly out-door yourselves because you have rights better than the whore?!
Yeah, you should not be tortured or killed; but just be gay and shut the fuck up like what the whores are doing (after all they are getting money for what is not a lifestyle or decision of sexual orientation).
I think prostitutes are actually the people to be talking of protection of human rights because if they become legal workers, they will also have better protection against crazy clients, potential killers and rapist, work harder as night-workers and we can talk about GDP in a different way. Then again, I am not even in support of prostitution (because let’s face it, I am not holy, but sin or moral deviance is just not right)

Sub-topic 2: Madam And Eve?

My stance: It is Adam and Eve
My body is a temple of God. Well, Adam and Eve were hiding because they realized they were naked (exposed genitals). They knew they were of different physique and understood and respected the intimacies of the vagina. Okay, here we are, the central part of this piece.
The sex organs are made in aesthetically beautiful opposite ways (in terms of functional orientation). The penis at two different instances will bring out either urine or sperms; the vagina either urine or vaginal fluid. Here is the interesting part; whereas the penis is for penetration (by virtue of the fact of its shape), the vagina is made to receive (penis during intercourse) and bring out (baby during child-birth). One body-part that can both receive and bring out things is the mouth (food and vomit respectively), the nose too (but it’s air in air out). Now the cool thing about the sex organs is that, unlike the mouth and nose, they are not the same in appearance so far as gender is concerned (but mysteriously located at the same place). The vagina does an extra thing by bringing life into existence; hello, the penis only enters and cannot be entered. Vagina is boss!
Ok, moving on, a normal (straight) person is not tagged with sex, and we do not care whether someone has sex or not; but a gay person is identified with a sexual behavior (so you are only gay when we know you are having sex with your fellow gender). I’m not gay so no one cares whether or not I’m having sex, a virgin, celibate or whatever. But as soon as we know someone is gay, then the sex factor comes in. The only human right gay people have is they are to be treated as innocent humans (when we find out they are gay); they do not deserve to be tortured. But then again, homosexuals have no right to parade the country fighting for their activities to be made normal. Like I said earlier, prostitutes actually deserve to have a legalize profession first; then ganja too should be legalized, because honestly, they deserve the right to smoke themselves out without being arrested. I think homosexuals should give it a rest now.
No. Seriously sodomy? Now the anus, unlike the vagina, it is biologically made to only bring out shit; no entry! Biology teaches me there is nothing like clitoris or any sex-sensitive related tissue in the excretory system. Let’s admire science now. The internal anal sphincter (in the asshole) coordinates muscular activities in there so we do not poop ourselves when it’s not time to. It works one way keeping shit in, so when something keeps pushing the muscles in consistently, the muscles become weak (hence diapers for men).
Man and another man who are in love; zero chastity level. Dude, you don’t know wtf you are missing (literally too). As pre-martial sex may not be okay (according to your religion or beliefs), I say VAGINA IS BOSS!!!

Sub-topic 3: Prospects In Marijuana

My stance: Weed is the least of my worries
Weed, scientifically Cannabis sativa (common); used for seed and seed oil, fibre, other medicinal purposes and also as a recreational drug. Nevertheless, it is socially considered as a psychoactive drug (so recreation here won’t be very necessary). I won’t give a history of the plant, neither will I talk about the conditions you must be in or where you should be to used pot freely.
I boldly say pot should be legalized! Don’t get me wrong, I do not smoke, but don’t you think you are infringing on a person’s right not to smoke? Don’t you think smoking consequences are equivalent to drinking consequences? But liquor is legal; see the fancy commercials on TV. Don’t you think marijuana is less of liquor and and less of cigarette? At least it can also have a health warning like: INDIAN HEMP IS HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH, SMOKE RESPONSIBLY. Then I will come up with a TV commercial, Boss Weed; fly high with the birds…
For some time, my ears have become a biological water-closet; I hear shit! The government is in a strange speculation now; should homosexuals have the social right to behave as such? That kind of thought never crosses their mind when it comes to marijuana (which comparatively is not a crime).
It gets interesting so follow me. Smoking weed is wrong socially; homosexual activities, also wrong socially. I am not comparing height here, but a smoker smokes where and when he likes (privately or socially), and he is not even fighting for his right to please himself anymore because he needs no right to smoke. I am not promoting the use of hard-drugs, but if you want to be gay, just be your gay whiles you don’t worry anyone about making your act public.
I am a baby entrepreneur, an agricultural scientist and an artist; so creatively, I think if marijuana one day becomes legal, there would be great prospects in pot-farming with already-advanced wee-hydroponics, biotech for good varieties, good package for export and sales as raw and consumable products. Then good cause to claim international merchandising rights. Wee farmers will be so happy since there will be ready market, wee sellers and stakeholders will all enjoy,,, and the bastard government will be dancing with another source of income, the Agriculture sector will have yet another product to help increase it’s percentage in the GDP. Seriously, homosexuals have nothing to offer- not even the future!

Sub-topic 4: Family’s Future Lies in Your Hands

My stance: Let’s discontinue ‘children’ since ‘gays’ have a future
On the walls on the urinal of my senior high school was written, ‘your family’s future lies in you hands. LOL? Yeah, I saw it when I was half-way through and yes, it was lying in my hands. Beliefs and science and all? There is no religion in the world that does not notice there is something wrong with us. The human race is in a peril, no matter what evil plan we devise every day. What I know is, God wanted us to multiply upon the surface of the earth. And even if you take your stance you do not believe in God, you certainly do not want you race to dry out (because honestly, science cannot produce all-man or all-woman race to satisfy a single-gender world). Let our bodies be clean temples of God; stay alive and healthy, do all possible good to stay happy. Sincerely, I do not write to offend anyone, but WTF, we cannot have lesbian and gay people trooping in and out of public places freely as themselves, while other lifestyles considered dark for ages are still in hiding.
So I write this, stopping the gay ideology of our slim society  Activation of another socially degrading activity; eventually we will accept every negative thing. With the introduction of oil and more gold and other natural resources, I think more thoughts should go into trying to secure jobs for the nation, instead of creating lazy fucks with no possible future. My luck is with a dark damsel; slender legs that walks elegantly, firm breast and sweet lips with kisses of smiles. If the future can beat the possible sex like that, I think gay people should shut the fuck up!

Friendzone of Life, Existence and Destiny || Be a Man, Man

Source: http://miabaga.com/p/friendzone-of-life-existence-and-destiny-be-a-man-man/

The FZ is like the forbidden forest.

I’d been hearing about it since I was a kid. It’s this really incredible place where you’re condemned to hearing about the shenanigans of other guys from this object of your lustful (or maybe not so lustful) affections. And you simply will never hit that. In this life or the next. So you’re there for her. You doo things for her, in the hopes that one day, one day corruption will stop in Nigeria. Wait what? What am I talking about? Sorry! In the hopes that one day a flock of pigs will fly and give you good luck. Ugh sorry again! I got carried away. Well you get the idea.To be really honest, there’s nothing wrong with the friend-zone (I hear 2pac and Biggie live there together). Everybody needs a friend.  But nobody wants to be a victim of un-requited lust. I’ll tell you a small story. There’s no man without at least one of these stories. I don’t care who you are; Casanova or Don Quixote, you’ve taken a left turn and landed in the FZ. Back to the story; so I was this gangly teenager in my freshman year in College. There was this really hot girl in my class that was the end-all, be-all of my fantasies. God was she hot (let’s forget that I saw her recently and she was frumpy as my grandma’s prom dress). She was friends with my cousin who was also in freshman class. So the “in”, was easy. We hit it off immediately. Had her laughing in 10 seconds flat. I’m feeling you, I said. She had a boyfriend, she said. She handed me my tenancy agreement; I like you, I want you around. You know, in my life. She was nice enough to say at least. I signed that tenancy agreement in blood, man.

I won’t go into all my travails in that forbidden forest but I’ll share the event turned around my life as a wussball. It was summer-heatwave hot. We were trying to get off-campus and there was no student transport for some reason and we had quite a distance to trek to get out of the campus and find alternative transport. I wasn’t given to such a torturous walk. Landlady was insistent and so I agreed. I mean who argues with their Landlady. Besides, it meant more time with the object of my affection. We were half-way through this long walk when she got a call. It turned out to be one of ‘toasters’ she rolled her eyes as she picked. I chuckled what a sucker. As they talked he pulled up right next to us. Jump in, he said. And she did, without second thought. She had told me he was a scumbag that only wanted to jump her bones. Sleaze-bag she had called him and such. Who was I to judge? It was respite. Then I tried to open the backseat door. Lol. It was locked. The window came down, and the cold room A/C blew onto my skin. Lord. I’ll see you later, WS, she said. Mwaah.

Yes, mwaah. I was halfway through a one mile walk I didn’t want to take and all I had for a companion was a Mwaah. Unicorns died in my heart, bro.

Hahahaha. In retrospect, it’s funny as hell. And I’m laughing hard as I type this. But lord. Sweat mixed with tears, my brother, so I trudged. Let’s get back to you. You’ve been or are in that forbidden country, let’s help you find your way home.

1. Be honest from the get-go. Yes You want her. Don’t be creepy about it, but be honest. You want to hit that. Simple. As an example, I’ve said these exact words to a young woman before. “Hi, my name is WS, I think you just might be hot enough for me to, against all odds, fornicate with you. Come with me please” let’s forget that she was a total blonde and I had to explain the biblical concept of fornication to her. But oh fornicate, we did. The idea is to lay your cards out from the get-go so there are no misconceptions. True, nobody wants to be the pervert that tells a woman his real intentions (Girls want to have fun, guys want to f–err play scrabble ). But it’s what you want anyway! Why lie about, and hide it?

2. This should actually be rule number one. Establish the framing. In fact in all your dealings with women, this should be your Bible and Torah and Tasbih. Let me explain. We live in a society where the frame is toward the feminine imperative. How? The heroes in most stories are working hard to please/win the affections of some woman some where. Django went through all of that BS, not for a bag of gold but to meet his Brumhilde. Explains why his D is silent, in my quiet opinion. There’s the Prince in Snow White who slayed dragons and shii just to kiss a comatose woman. It goes on and on. Most guys want to get rich so they can get all the beaches they want, really. It’s the sad fact. Back to her. She’s used to guys jumping through hoops to be with her. Some splash money, some splash lyrics. Just so she can choose them. No, break that. You chose/choose/will choose her. In as subtle a manner as possible, you need to reverse the onus of choice to you. So you’re the one who decides whether or not y’all are getting together or not. So if you’re friends, let it be that it so happened because you caused it to be so, not as an incidental occurrence. 3. Kill your scarcity mentality. This ranks right up there with number 2. Most guys act like if they don’t get a particular girl, they will literally drop to the ground and die. She’s hot or worse, she’s a great girl and you fell in love. In the words of the Yoruba people, yeekpa. Big deal. You’ll find another if she doesn’t jell. You meet a girl, you want her, she doesn’t want you. Sorry sah, okay bye. There will be others. If you live to be hundred, you’ll meet hundred women for every year you’ve lived. You’ll score with 20% depending on how persuasive you are. 20 hot women a lifetime is better than dying at the FZ altar. You’re a prize, my man. You need to remember that. There are too many wuss-balls in this life for you not to be the special one. It’s the unfortunate fact but you will always find women that will proverbially jiggle your golf-balls.

4. Realize that not every cat should be tamed. You can’t eat everything that passes by your table, they say that where I’m from. Even Casanova didn’t score with every single woman he pitched his scam to and neither will you, when you’re not Lucifer Star of the morning. Of all the women in the world, there will be sisters, mother, aunts and cousins; everybody else is free-game. I kid, but you get the idea.  5. So you took a wrong turn. Pamparannn. Friendzone alert. No need to fret. Go Code:Black. You already have enough friends, cut your losses and pitch your tent elsewhere. There are no hard feelings. It didn’t work, Collect $200 and Go. You’re not a hero, Don’t try to be Cap’n Save-a-farming-implement.

6. Be a dog to catch a dog. She’s a bad beach? Don’t be Snoop Lion. Be Snoop Dee-Oh-Double-Gee. Here’s what I mean. I’ve been with women long enough to have gotten many behind-the-scenes looks at so many things. I’ll tell you this one secret for free. One word: Dual-Signals. You know how you’re in the friendzone and you pull off some Covert ops moves and toss some hints, like pokeballs? She saw them, she just neutered them. Oh he’s just a friend. And those small signals she sent that you thought were the holy grail? She put them there, to feed you. They are little enough to excite you into sticking around but not enough to promote you from the FZ. She doesn’t want to swallow your Michael Phelpses, but she’s telling you about what a lame lay Chinedu is and how she needs someone more capable. WTF? What am I saying? Use the doublespeak women so unconsciously use. So from get-go, tell her: I find you hot (instead of saying you’re hot. Remember the framing). I’m going to fvck you (and not I want to. Framing again). Randomly hold her at arm’s length, and peruse her like you would precious jewellery. Say to her: Hmmn, if you weren’t trying so hard to jump my bones you’d actually make a good friend. When she gasps at your effrontery, kiss her. Hard.

In the end, the FZ is what you make of it. Mine is a reserve-bench of sorts. For me, it’s the I-can’t-get-round-to-you-right-now-waiting-lounge or I-used-to-fvck-you-but-can’t-right-now-so-chill-here room. You probably don’t even have one right now, do you? It’s why you end up there in the first place.

Thank me later.

WS